Will. To. Act. Fading...

I don't feel all that inspired today, I offer the following by way of apology.

THIS

It's a Canadian sex ED psa, might not be entirely work safe, due to the dancing penis.

What The Hell Is It Fortified With?

I just got pretty plowed on fortified wines, a thing I had promised not to do again. A hellacious admixture of Night Train Express, Thunderbird and Cherry Cisco. I know that I WILL have a hangover in the morning. Still it tasted less like concentrated vomit than I remember, so it wasn't all bad.


P.S. This is the first time I've gotten drunk in months, so anybody who thinks I have a substance abuse problem can cram it in their asses. I drink only when I'm in a good mood, not to drown my sorrows or cheer myself up. I like a beer or two with dinner, but so do a lot of people, and I'm german/italian/british enough to get away with it.

I am unabashedly excited...

I got the different position I wanted at work. Starting just after lunch today I began training to do what I wanted. I am happy beyond mere words.

Brock Tales (woo woo)

Today I commemorate, on the iron hard base what the internet is built upon, a former coworker.
His name was (probably still is, I assume he has not died yet) Brock worked with me in my call center job the first time through.

Brock had a stutter, one that grew worse the more upset he became. A stutter is already a bad trait when working in an environment where voice is your only means of relaying information, but it was even worse in the high stress world of cellular phone customer service.

Brock was loud. He was in fact so loud, that I once heard him from clear across the call center, while I was in the bathroom. He also was "that guy" in training classes, the person you dreading being with because he couldn't stop asking questions long enough for the trainer/teacher to answer him.

Last but not least, Brock was an asshole. Not the really malicious kind, but the kind of person who would kick a guy in the ass when he bent over to get something off the the floor (happened to me). He was the kind of guy who would move stuff on your desk because he thought it was funny. And he was the kind of guy who would leave trash on your desk without thinking about it.

When I was coming back, I dreaded running into him again. Fortunately (and with some shame at how glad I was) he had been fired in the nine months I was gone.

Thank god.

Deary me, the day is nearly fled and me without a blag...

I stayed an hour and a half after work today without getting paid a cent for it. Why, you may be asking, why would you spend so much time in a place you merely tolerate being most of the time?

The answer is simple: I seek to elevate my working position. Like the working buddha striving for enlightenment and an office with a window, I seek to become more than myself, while doing less and less work. My goal is a quasi-promotion, moving away from being a phone monkey, towards a goal of semi-educator.

To this end, my time was spent on a 100 question quiz, designed to test my mettle as well as my ability to separate the knowledge-y wheat from the worthless, filler info, chaff. I strove to accomplish this herculean feat, of putting down answers and documenting my sources, in but a single day. And success was mine (mayhap I exaggerate, I did answer about 6 questions on other days, they but the smallest fraction of my work) for I finished and merely await my results as befits my noblest of goals.

I think I maybe should hit the hay soon. Farewell gentle souls, may your rest be undisturbed by angry ruminants.

Man, Oh Man Do I Love Me Some Pomegranate Rockstar...

Pomegranate being my second favorite fruit (Useless fact), this stuff seems to be made to sell to me. It helps that the stuff has 50% juice and a crapload of sweet, sweet caffeine. I get myself one of the big 24 ounce cans most workdays, and it helps me through my oh so painful morning process (Get it?). But enough about the nectar of the gods...

I'm applying for a new position at my work. It's a sort of helpdesk system and, while it doesn't pay better, it does have the advantage of getting me off the phones.

And now to wrap up. I had a caller today by the name of: Toni Bennett. It was an unremarkable call otherwise but the name got me to laugh after the call (if you don't get why I think that was funny I offer THIS by way of explanation)

Old Iron Man comics have the lamest villains ever...

I recently acquired a large amount of Iron Man comics and had forgotten what comics from the 60/70's were like. An example: Iron man has an enemy called "The Unicorn". The Unicorn is a former soviet, with a helmet that shoots beams, rocket boots and enhanced strength. He is also dumber than a brick and seems to attack Iron Man for no readily apparent reason.

And he's just the barest tip of the lame gimmick villain iceberg. There's the "Red Ghost", who can turn into mist. The controller, who taps into people's mental energy to make himself stronger and numerous others.

Despite these lame sacks of crap, he also has some really cool enemies, like The Mandarin And others with cool backgrounds and powers.

I'm still really conflicted as to whether or not I'm enjoying these right now, only time will tell.

Neverwinter Nights 2 is good

I'm gonna play me some more tonight, after my friends go home.

It helps that I figured out how to un-bugger the camera controls.

Meme? I hardly know her!

This is the new Weezer video, Fresh from the youtube, and ready for the court of public opinion.

From hells bowel I stab at thee...

I made my yearly visit to McDonalds today. I make an effort to go at least one time every year to remind myself why I don't eat there. However, it did inspire me to review what I ate, so without further ado I do so:

1) Double cheeseburger: Bland, lacking any real texture and with cheese that doesn't deserve the name. The best thing I can say is that the condiments were evenly distributed.

2) Chicken McNuggets: These were overcooked and, while I acknowledge that I may simply have gotten a bad batch, I was disappointed. The honey mustard dipping sauce was too much mustard, not enough honey.

3) Baked Apple Pie: I liked these better when they used to be fried. Too much cinnamon to cover up lacking other flavors.

4) McFlurry with Oreos: It's near impossible to mess up vanilla soft serve with oreos in it, and they didn't mess it up.


in other news I took back my defective LG burner and picked up a pioneer, Here's hoping it has no problems. Anyway, I'm going to maybe go to bed or something. Goodnight sweet prince(s/ess/esses).

PRAISE BAAL!


All Mcdonalds product names property of the McDonalds corporation and used without permission.

Kingdom of the Crystal AWESOME!

Indiana Jones kicked some ass! It has commies, explosions, ridiculous plot devices, twist turns and everything you expect. More on it after I get home after work tomorrow.

The sweet embrace of morpheus (you are the one, neo) beckons me unto my bed.

Corporate Underbelly 2.0

Today I had another needlessly long training class. This one was almost 4 hours, again for material that could have been beaten to death in a mere 45 minutes. Fortunately it seems like it's going to be the last needless one for at least the rest of the month.

To mitigate the boredom I get to see Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull at midnight. BOOYA, or perhaps if you find that too anachronistic, HELLZ YEAH BOYEE!

I be out doggz.

I are an voter!

I have officially participated in the democratic process, my ballot is marked (where applicable), sealed, signed (where applicable) and had been dropped into a big blue tub (where applicable).

Since voting isn't like birthday wishes, where telling makes them not come true, I am inclined to reveal 2 of my votes. These are the ones I feel are most relevant out of the entire 2 sheet mess of a ballot, so here goes:

1) Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama, I like him more than Hillary, but I don't feel that either is particularly more qualified than the other. A coworker raised an excellent point about one thing today: With the state of foreign relations, a female president may not be the best choice at this time.

2) Sam Adams for mayor. I like the guy and don't know enough about the other candidates.

Anyway off to play rockband.

Stay Alert! Trust No One! Keep Your Laser Handy!

Greetings from the corporate underbelly...

Today I attended a two-hour training class that only needed to be 45 minutes. The training itself was about minor system upgrades, nothing all that important or even particularly meaningful.

FUN FACT: You can stretch out ten pages of material if you have someone read it out loud.

I'm off to read comics now, don't get eaten by wolves while I'm away.

Dammnit LG!

Last week I bought myself a new LG DVD burner from Fry's. Now it doesn't burn dvds at all. It plays dvds, it burns CDs, but it will not burn what I want. I have to go back to Fry's, and I have do it saturday or before to be able to return it.

MOST DISPLEASING.

Pesky soul! I better make sure nobody finds out I have one...

Yesterday, whilst driving to beaverton to drop off my friend's air conditioner, I saw one of those things what poets and artists go on about: I saw the setting sun transform everything into molten gold. Everything faintly shimmered and was drenched in warmth.

It was magnificent, one of the most beautiful things I have seen in a long time.

On an unrelated topic, today is my sister's 18th birthday. Happy birthday to her and all that.

If I wanted to sweat from my balls I would live closer to the equator...

What the fuck is wrong with the weather right now? Seriously, we went from mid to high forties, right to an inferno that Dante Alighieri would be too sweaty to write about.

On a completely different note, let me tell you about a call I took at work today.

This woman had racked up about $200 of overages on her phone bill. She had used the traditional method, talking more than she had minutes, to do this. However she was insistent that her mobile to mobile call were to blame, which was not the case. If we had charged her for the mobile to mobile calls it would have been closer to $600 in overages instead.

She was insistent that I was wrong and that she was being lied to by my company (not the case, surprise!). Then she hit me with the big one: Not only could she not pay the bill, but we were keeping her from feeding her children. Like some freakish cellphone secret police, we were not allowing her to feed her children(somehow). And then she repeated that, repeated it every time I tried to get a word in edgewise. In fact, she would ask a question and then interrupt me with that when I tried to answer. This continued for a good ten minutes.

Then she asked for a supervisor, something which I do not have a problem with. I offered to connect her to a sup, as she had requested one. Does she give me permission? Of course not, she tells me that I am keeping food out of her children's mouths . Finally I get her to an escalations rep, who takes the call, albeit with a smidge of trepidation.
CALL TIME: 25 minutes.

Now before you go thinking "Why 25 minutes, Thats not long for a serious issue at all!" Be aware that my average call time is less than 4 1/2 minutes. Meaning that this, a call which I could not resolve, took me more than 5 times as long as my normal work and accomplished NOTHING AT ALL.

Another story along the same vein: Whilst I was working for COMCAST, I received a call from an older woman on fixed income. This woman became quite agitated that her promotions had expired, causing her bill to increase some $35. According to the woman this increase in charges (which she had been advised of when she signed up), would prevent her from paying her MORTGAGE. She then began to cry, told me I should be ashamed and disconnected before I had the option of helping her.

Bleh, these are the calls I love to hate.

And LO! The angel brought forth the bounty of The Internet

First the funny:

Baby Got Book Oh you evangelical Christians, what won't you co-opt for your own fiendish goals.

hoodtube You may need to register for the "best" videos

Wondermark Strange, strange comics from a man with lots of old drawings.

Bad Candy Exactly what is sounds like.

Now other stuff:

Minus A hand painted comic, it's really nice to look at and has an odd charm.

Dresden Codak Weird not particularly linear comic with odd philosophical... tones.

Nanosonic Modern Technology is cool!

IBISTEK Modern Military Technology is Awesome!

I am the worlds laziest blogger.

Seriously, this makes like, my third attempt to actually start a blog/blag. I seem to have no staying power when it comes to making updates, I do like 3 and then never update again.

So I have a mission: Post a blog/blag entry every day, even if it consists entirely of a link to a webcomic I like or some crap like that.

Despite the fact that it is now technically Friday, this still counts as a Thursday post, what with me not in bed and all.

-Louis


Addendum: I won a neat little mp3 accessory pack at work today, It has retractable headphones, a wall charger adapter, a car charger adapter, a headphone splitter and a battery pack for the usb cable (sadly does not work). Hooray stupid swag!